Looking ahead to WFCQ 2019.

This weekend is the World Floorball Championship Qualifier for the Americas. Yes, only ONE country from this continent gets to compete in the WFC in December 2019 in Neuchatel, Switzerland - crazy, right? The feeling of failure (and many other feelings) from the past two teams have not left me, despite knowing there were so many factors beyond my control; both experiences had been fraught with tension and drama, despite trying to make the best of the situations.  They say "third time's a charm", so here goes. When I think about the next 72 hours, these are the wave of emotions that flood me...

Fear

Fear of the unknown outcome. Anxiety that I will not contribute to the team or bond with my teammates on and off the court. Worry of injury and physical health not cooperating. Scared of fucking up and losing. 

Lonely

This is the first time my two OG teammates will not be with me on the road. I miss having someone who understands my perspectives, calls me out on my bullshit, and supports me through the same experience.  I know I will develop new relationships with some of the rookies and grow the ones with other veterans, but Lisa and Jenn are my next level floorball soulmates who have been there since Day One. 

Frustrated

Frustrated with myself for feeling difficulty working through the above two emotions; for when I can't make that shot; to not knowing what's the outcome; for feeling unseen and unheard. 

Hopeful

I am hopeful that my skills and my potential to contribute will not be overlooked this time. I am hopeful that the young rookies on our team will breathe new life into our game and utilize their youthful energy well. I hope we win and go to Switzerland. 

Optimistic

We have new coaches that have played extensive floorball, have been to the WFC, know the game inside out, and have the qualities that I underlined in point #2 of this post.  This alone gives me confidence that we will win, and we will beat the USA. 

Thankful

I am relieved that my body has been functioning well and injury-free (knock on wood). I am grateful that my job allows me to travel and take time off to pursue my passions - work to live, not live to work.  I am thankful to have the opportunity to demonstrate my skills and commitment, and the means to do so. 

Determined

Ultimately, I wanna fucking win this thing, so I am gonna give it my 10000000%.  I know that I have become a better person and a better athlete. I am more fit than I've ever been, with more technical and field experience than I've ever had. I know the goal and I know what I have to do to support my team and myself in achieving our spot in this year's WFC. I'm fucking ready. 

...and emotions repeat.